Shootin’ the Poo

It’s that time again. Helping a little human learn how to transfer bodily waste to the toilet. Potty training…or, the new ‘pc’ term (which honestly i do prefer as it helps me be more patient since i’m so responsive to semantics): Potty Learning. After the trauma I experienced training Asher (which included no actual traumatizing stories, it was just HARD & exhausting) when he was just under 18months (& had previously NEVER had interactions with a toilet), I had gotten to the place that I was perfectly ok with the idea of waiting till Grace was nearing 3 to begin the potty process. i’ve heard so many rumors that when you start late it only takes a few days. compared to 6 months of being on ‘high alert’ for potty cues when I was expecting he should be telling ME….3-year-old training sounded nice.

however, the past couple months i’ve been contemplating it & this month in particular I’ve realized that I’m ready. I know that sounds backwards to most books (waiting for the child to show signs of ‘readiness’), but though I do love my cloth diapers, I’m ready to not be washing them every other day.

With Asher I read one book (Potty Training 1-2-3) & then relied heavily on advice from other mom’s who had trained early (most tips in this book don’t really pertain to little guys). In retrospect i’ve realized I had wrong expectations of not only the process but the end result. I thought I would spend a week or two ‘training’ then after that he would always use the toilet, coming up to tell me when he needed to go. We did end there, but it took 6-9 months for him to get to where he ALWAYS told me & another year before he would just go on his own w/o any mention to me. If I had realized this, there would’ve been less frustration in the process (then again, I was 8.5 months pregnant, so maybe not).

This time I decided to re-review the 123 book & read a few others as well. In all areas of parenting I’m realizing looking at lots of different angles helps keep me from trying to pigenhole my kids/family into something that one author says works or is right. So i went to the library & came home with The no-cry potty training solution & Diaper-free Before 3. I was expecting to scoff at the ‘no cry’ book (the title makes me think of parents walking around on egg shells to keep kids from being upset). However, i LOVED it. While there were some practical tips, it was more the overall perspective i found helpful. The idea that (duh) this is a LEARNING PROCESS. Just as you take time and have to have lots of patient repitition for an undetermined amount of time for your kids to learn anything from eating to tying shoes…potty training should be a patient, repetitive process that can’t have a real time-line pushed on it due to varients in children, parents & family lifestyle differences. A few years ago the idea of “gradual training” sounded like “lazy parents” to be honest. But that’s exactly what happened, ‘gradual training’. it’s just that I went the route of me ‘being trained’ to read him until he was ready to take over the process for himself. I’m ok with that. Enter second book.

I enjoyed this book too, but will come away with much less of her actual advice (she came off kind of militaristic & had some rather silly ideas in my opinion: using training underwear & water-proof covers after a year old so they can feel wet…um…ever heard of cloth diapers? MUCH easier than pulling soiled totally non-absorbant underwear off). She basically goes for the long-haul gradual process but starting MUCH earlier, with first introductions to sitting on the potty at 6months. it’s sort of a mix of potty training & elimination communication. With the idea that by the time the kid is 2 they’ll be totally out of diapers.

since Grace was about a month old I’ve been hovering her over the potty for pooping (any poo that gets in the toilet is one less bottom to be wiped & diaper to be washed), but not with any real purposefulness. I’ve considered myself a “lazy EC’er”. I’ve been concerned that this could backfire with potty training that since she’s always had the option of either toilet or diaper, she won’t catch on to no longer having the diaper option. However, according to these books, sounds to me like we’re well on our way to having already started training long ago. now it’s just the last step of moving to underwear & learning to catch more pee (she also pees in the potty a decent amount)…then the gradual process of turning the reigns over to her (though the before 3 book points out that even adults need to be reminded to go potty before long trips ect….so if NEVER having to be reminded is your end goal, don’t hold your breath). I’m ok with this. Deep cleansing breath everybody….”d-day” is monday.

Oh & for any ‘readiness’ fans who i’ve traumatized, she does show many ’signs’. She even cheers for me when I go potty. She can’t talk very well, but she gets it & if i’m paying attention she usually tells me she needs to poop before she goes, she’s just not very demanding about it & i’m not super concerned, so I often don’t catch on & miss our potty opportunity.

Only stumbling block i’ve got right now is i can’t find our portable little potty. Gonna want that for the car for trips to places with no bathrooms…..arg.

Party Poopers

One day this week we had one of those super sweet “wow…that’s our son” moments in the van with Asher & I couldn’t keep it to myself any longer.

For those who don’t know Ryan & I have decided not to lie to Asher…about anything. If we reach a subject that he’s not ready for the truth, we just tell him we’ll tell him when he’s older or something like that (not to say we’ve never slipped up in this area, but we strive to not lie anyhow). So in the eyes of some folks I realize this makes us out to be a tad bit…grinch-y. We love to play pretend, but we like to make sure the kids know it’s just that - pretend. Asher knows there is no such thing as Santa, the Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy (though we enjoy playing pretend about all of these…i fully intend to play tooth fairy when the time comes…it will still be a fun game, he’ll just know it’s us). There’s certainly a myriad of reasons we’ve decided to be upfront with him on the issue of what’s real & what’s not, but ultimately…we don’t want to lie to him.

So the other day in the van: He had been talking about or pretending to be a monster (new favorite activity) & then said, “but monster’s aren’t real”. I said, “that’s true” So then he went on to list other things (that he enjoys) that are also not real….mermaids, dragons, Diego, goblins & various talking animals. What was so sweet & a perfect example of why we’ve been so clear with him was that in the mix of naming off things that aren’t real he said, “God IS real…Jesus IS real….the Holy spirit is real…” then went on with his list of ‘non-real’ things.

I got a little choked up, but tried to play it cool. “Yep, that’s right bud. God IS real. You’re a smart kid.”

I’ll choose to be a party pooper any day if it helps my kids wade through the waters discerning the Truth through all the lies.

Adoption

I was going through the 300+ blog posts that had accumulated in my google reader over the past 4 days and found a link to a great resource for churches looking to start adoption funds.  How amazing would it be if the church took seriously its call to care for widows and orphans?

Adoption lies in the future for Jennifer and I. The who, what, when, where, questions still lie unanswered, but the reality is already in our hearts. As the website above points out, money is one of the hardest challenges to overcome with adoption. While money is a big challenge, it is also a strong and powerful reminder to me of the gospel.  See, the price that Jennifer will have to pay in order to become the father and mother of one who is father and motherless will be thousands of dollars. When I think of this great financial cost I am always reminded that Jennifer and I were adopted by God at the greatest of expenses… the very life of his son (Gal 4:3-7).

Church… adoption beats in the heart of the gospel. Let us take seriously the call to care for the father and motherless. Let us give ourselves and our money to make the grace of God in adoption known to the world.

From the roof

Ryan and Jennifer from the Richmond rooftops…

Name game

So, I was was going through some pictures this evening and came across this one… anyone know who these people are?

Just starting to settle

Over just the past couple weeks I’ve been thinking about how I’m starting to feel more comfortable here in Winter Park, and beginning to get beyond the uncomfortable “getting to know you” phase with a few friends (i.e. less worry about them thinking i’m weird now that i think they sufficiently know that i am in fact weird). Something that got me really choked up the other day though was a discussion with asher. To preface: since we moved here in january the sentence, “momma, i don’t like our florida house, I just want our virginia house” was common. Even after discussions about a fun day or something, he would often end it with that.
So one day last week, he was listing his “best friends” (which were all boys from VA). I didn’t say anything, was just listening (honestly i had my eyes closed, head in hands trying to mentally will him to finish going potty so i could get back to whatever it was i was doing). He was quiet for a bit & then said,

“mom, i think i like our florida house now. i don’t want our virginia house anymore”.

He’s said it now a few times since, always completely out of the blue & unprompted. There are 4 boys from VA that he always lists first when talking about who his friends are (John, Jude, Jack & Jack), but he’s beginning to add a few “florida friends” in the mix as well.

In my experience & that of others (as well as what the ‘experts’ say) it takes 1-3 years to really get settled in a new place. Some days are harder than others, but it’s nice to have hit kind of an upswing here lately.

New phrases

One of the things I enjoy most about our life in the toddler stage is hearing new phrases that they pick up. Some have a clear origin, such as Asher’s latest, “Got your/my feathers in a bunch”. He picked that gem up from watching Little Bear. He said it the first time 2 days ago. He was huffing about something ( i think cleaning up) & he sighed & said, “mom, I’ve got my feathers in a bunch”. I asked if he knew what that meant…”yes, it means i’m grumpy”. One of Grace’s newest phrases is from the 3 of us playing hide & seek & peek-a-boo all the time: “Dada (or any name), where are you???” (very sing-songy enunciation).

Then there are ones that you’re just not sure where they came from. Such as Grace’s new & official first sentence…well..not really A sentence. She’s started tagging names to expressions. Such as, “hi mom” or my personal favorite, “no, dad!” when he’s tickling or kissing her….she sounds just like a teenager saying that one. Pretty much hilarious. Of course all it does is incite more kisses & zerberts.

More Guns and other pics

As promised, here are more gun pics (and other random pics from our trip to grandma’s):

enjoy

Uncle Steve

My brother (aka - Uncle Steve):

More gun pics later… off to bible study.

I’m Saucy

I was just getting Grace up from her nap & asher was in the kitchen (where i was in the process of putting together enchiladas that i meant to cook yesterday).

While in her room asher was talking & singing to himself (& probably eating cheese off the counter). Then i heard him singing, “mommy, mommy, she’s so saucy” to the tune of “it’s raining, it’s pouring”.

???

came in to find he was singing this while stirring my enchilada sauce. whew…wasn’t sure where he’d picked up that little ditty.

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