My “Two Cents”

Yesterday we found out the sex of baby burns #2. We did not find out with Asher (mostly b/c ryan didn’t want to find out), and that did turn out to be fun, though slightly annoying for the impatient Jenn. I think the actual moment of delivery with him was a bit tainted b/c I opted for a dose of Nubain a few minutes before he was born (btw, my advice on that is don’t do it, it helped earlier in labor to relax during contractions, but it doesn’t really take pain away, just makes you calm and loopy, not a good thing for the pushing stage). So I was tired and a bit out of it. I don’t think i even opened my eyes to look at him, but i do remember hearing them say it was a boy. i said, “i knew it was a boy! his name is asher”. It was a fun though fuzzy moment. The main thing was knowing who it was, it was my son, Asher, and I got to hold him in my arms and cry and stare at him (once i was back from la-la land).

So yesterday I was excited to go and find out who this baby is. From what I’ve heard the moment at the ultrasound is just as special as the moment of delivery (though not sure if any of those people have had both experiences). When the moment of truth finally came, the ultrasound-tech pointed out the little legs and as soon as she did that I saw, and was pretty sure I knew. So she pointed out the legs, the bottom and viola, ‘it’s a ___’. It took a second to register and then my eyes welled up, and I felt the need to bawl a little. However I started to feel silly sitting in the little room staring at a monitor with this woman I don’t know and crying. So I held it in. Wow…it’s a ___.

As we left the hospital and walked toward our car we talked about it and were having fun, then it hit me as we pulled out of the parking lot. I started crying and had that moment of “I know who my baby is”, however the baby was not in my arms and i was not staring at it or cuddling it or…. As annoying as it is to admit, I was wrong. It was just not as cool to know ahead of time.

As a disclaimer, I do not regret finding out. Mostly because there is no way I would’ve believed it was true. I tend to be a “have to learn for myself” kind of person (ask my parents, they’ll attest to that). So it was great to have had the opportunity to experience both scenarios. There will certainly be upsides to knowing. I will be able to paint the kids’ room(s?), and move Asher and/or ourselves(maybe) before the baby comes so there won’t be any extra changes for Asher to get used to besides his little baby sibling. However, if we have a third I do not want to find out.

It will be interesting to see how it affects the moment of delivery. Since I will finally be able to hold little baby I know it will still be awesome and intense, just curious to see if it will feel any different. I’ll let you know in August.

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