Speeding Ticket

Today i got my first ever speeding ticket. I was following the flow of traffic zoning out & all of a sudden i had what i thought was a crossing guard flagging me down to turn at an intersection, then as i was turning i realized it was probably a police officer. my first thought was honestly that they were doing some sort of random check like breathalyzer’s or something (i know, at 8:15am? really?). no. i was going 30 in a 15. a school zone 15 (the yellow lights were apparently flashing on the speed limit sign). ugh. so not only my first ticket but a double fine b/c it’s a school zone ticket. yikes. he said something about how i will have the option to do driver’s school instead.

I managed to keep composure (fighting back tears the whole 15min (!!!) he was away with my license & registration (apparently the printer was down)) in front of him. But as soon as he walked away I took a deep breath, started to drive away & promptly broke down into hysterical sobbing tears. Hysterical. I can’t remember the last time i cried that crazy-like. My heart just hurt. I talked to ryan, doing the weird hyperventilating breathing thing & his encouragement of “everyone gets tickets, it’s not a big deal” didn’t really help much, but was nice nonetheless (& what I was looking for in calling him). I was just barely late for class too.

On the way home I was recounting the story for my mom & while I thought I would think it funny that i was so upset, no..it just started a new round of tears. So the rest of the way home (i got lost & added 40min to my drive) I analyzed my over-reaction. Here’s what I came up with:

I am a rule-follower by nature. Now, i went through a period of breaking rules, however the really public ones (like only crossing the street at a crosswalk) I’ve always kept. The idea of purposely running a red-light (& any time i’ve accidentally done so) sends my heart into dangerous palpitations.
So i got caught red-handed (or footed) breaking a rule. I am a pharisee at heart. As asher’s bible book would say, I want to be clean on the outside & for everyone to know it, even though i’m broken on the inside.

So there you go, I was crushed because my moralistic standing went down a notch today. However, my standing with God has nothing to do with how many rules i follow or how perfect i appear on the outside. I can not win God’s affections & people’s affections are NOT what I should be basing my worth on. I need Jesus.

Ryan said I should NOT say that to the judge when I go to court.

8 thoughts on “Speeding Ticket

  1. I’m with you Jen. Knock on wood i’ve never gotten a ticket either but i always say i will cry when i do. Your reaction is legit. :) Your analysis is also legit :)

    So a few posts back you said no dairy! does this mean a move to more soy? i remember you being anti-soy before.

  2. Actually, I said:

    “You should tell the judge that your righteousness in not found in obeying rules but in Jesus Christ.”

    Then I said:

    “actually, in this case that might not be the best defense.”

    Welcome to the ticket club baby. Happy V-Day. I love ya!

  3. I can totally relate to this type of reaction, too. Very similar I think to why I keep getting into hysterics over missing thesis “deadlines.”

    I wonder if anyone’s ever tried telling a judge that, ha.

  4. Also went into hysterics with my first ticket – now I just kick myself. Have been to “bad girl driving school” twice now – in FL and VA. I admit this on a public site so you know you’re not alone! Oh, and I had to share – I got my last ticket while on the way to Bible study! Talk about humbling! And you know how much of a rule follower I am – wow, I’m still blushing even as I type this!

  5. Well, Jenn and Ryan, I will admit that I actually bookmarked your blog and it is the first blog I’ve ever read more than once. Your entries are short and manageable, funny and relateable. Besides, who wouldn’t want frequent pictures of your cute kids! Not that I’m going to start a blog or anything…well, not this month anyway…but I AM enjoying reading yours :-)

  6. I think it is better to want to follow rules than to have my rather laissez-faire attitude. I got a DOT citation for running through a SunPass booth (I don’t remember doing this) and I was kind of like, oh well, I pay a lot of toll money every year, they can get over it….but then I read the fine print and realized I could lose my license, so I paid the $1 toll, plus a $25 penalty (what a waste!). If you were ticketed in front of Glenridge Middle School, take heart – the cops have been out in FULL Force around there lately and I have seen as many as 4 people pulled over simultaneously, including old people who probably missed the fact they were speeding! :)

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