I’ve mentioned before that although my women’s bible study has long since finished going through, “Stepping Heavenward” with the study guide, I figured I should still um…START it…and work on it during my morning ‘devotional’ time. I had just finished commenting on twitter that I feel “behind”…even though I’m not going through this WITH anyone (on earth anyway..ha), and I’ve not been given a time-line….why must I always make things into rules I have to follow, or better yet a competition?
Anyhow, on I went with the business of the study. I was too look up 1John 5:19 & Matthew 4:8-10 in regards to ‘worldliness’ & who ‘has authority to rule over this world’. While reading 1John I got a little distracted by a mention of an ‘unpardonable sin’. I’ve seen mention of this elsewhere and it always makes me feel uncomfortable. Given my propensity toward legalism and wanting to know I’m following “the rules” purely for the sake of the rules, I’ve always gotten nervous at the notion of an unpardonable sin. I mean…surely I’ve committed “every sin in the book” in one form or another….including verbal blasphemy. Enter nagging doubt. So I read the study notes in my bible, but it was mostly just a redirect to a mini-article that was in Mark. Not wanting to get distracted, I made a ‘mental note’ (aka: will forget it in 30 seconds never to return again) to look it up after i “finish”. Then off on my merry way to Matthew 4. Except I accidentally went to MARK 4. After struggling to figure out how the heck Mark 4:8-10 ties in with the given topic, I realized I was in the wrong book. But then I noticed, “hey, there’s that article on the unpardonable sin”. So of course I read it. Feeling sufficiently relieved, I went back on my way.
Then I stopped. Wait….that was NOT my run of the mill “i get distracted far too easily” type-distraction. That just slew an enemy that would’ve been lying in wait for me the rest of the day (week/month/life?)…sorry..been reading too much old school Sir Lancelot…. Suddenly I became aware of the Goodness of my Father in Heaven…and reminded that indeed….He loves…ME. How quickly I forget. How sweet for him to “distract” me, to shine a light on my doubt…helping me realize not only “what it means” but the reminder of the assurance of my salvation –> it cannot be ‘lost’…the goodness of God & richness of His love & mercy (toward me..even me!)…that He would ‘interrupt’ my bible study to encourage me and gird me against that doubt that hangs on my every word waiting to accuse me.