The Skin You’re In

i was in the process of responding to an email a friend sent me thanking me for the previous post…& decided to just go for it & post it here instead. So, basement…you will probably not be vacuumed today, Diapers, Asher will help me fold you later.

My real soapbox is not really the sexualization of kids (though boy could that be one), but the DEsexualization of married folk. Mostly I’m referring to women/mothers, so this is for us & those who will be us:

The following sentence was in the “thank-you” email i received:

    I’ll never be a size 2 again…but my husband thinks I’m hot so I need to just keep taking care of myself and learn to love my baby bearing “scars”.

That’s what i’m talking about. If i did not feel too ‘naked’ in a bikini i’d wear one simply to flaunt the stretch marks. i don’t necessarily LIKE my stretch marks, but i think i should. they’re battle scars, like tatoo’s that tell a story. I’m trying hard to see it all as a process & being a new person, not trying to find the 19yr old i used to be. Praise the Lord i’m not her anymore! I had lots of time that i thought i was fat when i was a size 2! now i think i’m really thin & i’m somewhere between a 6 & 10 depending on the store. i don’t want to look back when i’m 50 & be sad that i didn’t enjoy my 28yr old body. I’m not saying I’m 100% there, but I’m trying to be aware of it. When I hit the gym I like to think in terms of “stronger for activities with my kids, toned as a gift for my husband, fit as a gift to my heart”, not “if I could only squeeze back into that slinky dress, that’d stop them all in their tracks!” I’d like to say I don’t even look at the scale…but I do. Maybe I’ll stop. A lot of it is social/cultural pressure. But all of it is succumbing to vanity.

Another thing i always think about i believe came from a Mark Driscoll sermon, perhaps Piper? That men like variety, which is why it is assumed men cheat. However, if they would open their eyes to what they have they would see that instead of having to have lots of women, the one wife provides plenty of varitey. A woman will go through many changes throughout her life, not only physical but mental & sexual. Heck, from day to day i don’t want the same thing (mentally, physically, sexually), so there’s variety for you. i like to joke that ryan’s gotten to see what it’s like to be with a woman who’s 125lbs & one who’s 175lbs & everything in between.

Clearly, it’s talking about $, but good ole Philipians 4:11-13 never fails. “I have learned in whatever situation to be content….I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

Whether too skinny or too fat, wrinkly or firm, blonde brown or grey….nothing will separate us from the love of Christ.

Have I mentioned that I have no intention of covering grey hairs once they start to arrive? I’m not saying I won’t have moments of doubt, & don’t stare blankly at the wrinkles forming around my eyes, but I refuse to deny it. I too will get ‘old’. And by the way, I thouroughly enjoy the salt & pepper look my husband’s head is taking on. I honestly find it attractive.

3 thoughts on “The Skin You’re In

  1. Funny I just read this ’cause this week I am memorizing the verses you mentioned. At a women’s Bible that I go to we just started reading the book: “Calm my anxious heart” by Linda Dillow, and each week we are supposed to be memorizing a verse from each chapter of the book. :)